Reality Bytes and Pieces

The Future Looks Bad for Dogs - I hate dog hair on my car upholstery, but it’s still better than cleaning up puppy pizza on the highway.

Spitzer’s Slut Sucks, and Sings - High-priced whore sells cheap music for download. Upload will cost you thousands.

Today is “Steak and B.J. Day” - This is man’s answer to Valentine’s Day. I wonder how Eliot Spitzer is celebrating.

Herpes Halts Horse Races - Something ain’t right in West Virginia, but what else is new?

Bong & Hookah Users Beware - That next hit from the bong might just be the gift that keeps on giving when the high wears-off.

Oral Sex And Pot Linked To Cancer - “Certain head and neck cancers may be tied to sexual activity, marijuana use, and human papillomavirus (HPV ) type 16…”

Lard-ass Mafioso Can’t Fit in Jail Cell - “A suspected Mafia clan member weighing 210 kilogrammes (460 pounds) was placed under house arrest after putting too heavy a burden on prison staff, Italian press reports said Wednesday…”

The Internet is for Porn, Not Voting - “Former prime minister of Poland Jaroslaw Kaczynski told members of his conservative party that people should not be allowed to vote online because the Internet attracts those who like to watch porn while drinking beer…”

Bride Murders Stinky-feet Husband - “A Chinese bride burnt her new husband to death after he got into bed after a drunken argument without washing his feet, state media reported on Wednesday…”

Living in Chicago, Ill. is getting less and less convenient and enjoyable for law-abiding citizens thanks to a single city official who thinks he knows what’s best for those he was elected to represent.

If you live in the Windy City or have spent any time there in recent years, you’ve probably noticed that it’s a smoke-free city now. Thank Alderman Ed Smith for cleaning the air and protecting your lungs, whether you like the smoking ban or not. Approve or disapprove, that’s not really the point. Ed Smith knows what’s best for you and you should be kissing his ass for saving your life, and if you’re a smoker, for not letting you kill others with your toxic cigarette smoke.

Speaking of toxic fumes, how about that ban on spray paint cans in Chicago? Your barbecue or fence might be rusty, but Smith has bigger concerns, like preventing hoodlums from spraying graffiti on buildings and overpasses. Kudos to Ed Smith for helping ban spray paint and forcing you to travel outside of the city to a Home Depot that trusts you’ll use it properly.

Enjoy indulging in a little delicacy known as “foie gras?” Well, Ed Smith doesn’t think you should be eating goose liver because as he told reporters when he threatened to resign as Chicago Health Committee Chairman, “My professionalism, my manhood, my integrity is at stake … I’m a vegetarian. I don’t eat meat. I don’t eat duck or anything else.”

While we’re on the topic of tasty birds, Smith doesn’t believe Chicago citizens should have the right to own chickens as pets or for harvesting their eggs. Why anyone would want to own a chicken for a pet is beyond me, but that’s not the point. Smith has his reasons for supporting the ban on chickens, and once again, you shouldn’t question his authority and sound judgment.

If you enjoy the famous taste of Chicago deep dish pizza, it might just be that the extra burst of flavor comes from those evil trans fats, and Smith would rather sacrifice the quality and taste of a national treasure if it means saving your arteries from clogging, or whatever trans fats do that’s so scary.

“People are getting the message that health is important,” Smith said when asked about Chicago potentially banning trans fats. ”These kinds of measures are important. When these things begin to pass around the country, it has the tendency to have a ripple effect.”

Imagine how many tourists attending the Olympic Games in Chicago would be disappointed if the city’s pizza joints were forced to change the recipes for their famous pizzas? Well, Smith won’t support an effort to win an Olympic bid for his city unless an Olympic-sized swimming pool is first constructed at a predominantly black (draw your own conclusions) high school in his ward (28).

“If they don’t build an Olympic-sized swimming pool, children on the West Side will not be able to participate in the Olympics. They won’t have an opportunity to practice,” Smith said. ”Children coming from Russia and Norway are practicing right now in Olympic pools. All of the medals will go elsewhere.” One can only assume that the “Tiger Woods” of swimming will quickly rise out of Chicago if Smith’s demand for a pool is granted.

On Tuesday, March 4, Smith announced his latest attempt to save his city and “protectorate” from harming themselves by proposing a ban on small plastic bags that one would ordinarily find at convenience stores.

Smith believes those little plastic bags that the majority of Americans use to store food products are the trigger mechanism for the ”most destructive force” in Chicago neighborhoods. He elaborated, “We need to use every measure that we possibly can to stop it because it is destroying our kids. It’s destroying our community. It’s destroying our race of people. It’s ridiculous.”

Of course, Smith was referring to the “dime bags” that freelance pharmaceutical salesmen use to keep their products fresh for clients, but c’mon, he’s talking about banning plastic bags that countless moms depend on to pack peanuts inside for their kids to take to school — not crack cocaine.

Ed Smith isn’t really a Nazi, but he seems to be taking a page from Hitler and company when it comes to abusing his power in a position of authority to prevent citizens from engaging in activities and possessing materials that he has deemed inappropriate.

In light of the new allegations from The New York Times that Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) had an affair with a much younger female lobbyist during his 2000 presidential campaign, I decided to Google the search term ”Obama affair,” but didn’t expect the bombshell that I discovered which the mainstream media has yet to breach.

According to a man named Larry Sinclair, Obama used drugs and had (oral) sex with him in 1999. Sinclair recently posted a video on YouTube detailing the encounter with Obama which has already been viewed by more than 423,000 people. Interesting to note that there hasn’t been a single mention of Sinclair by the mainstream media or any attempt by the media or the Obama campaign to set the record straight.

Sinclair claims he has agreed to take a polygraph and has challenged Obama to do the same. He also claims to have filed a lawsuit against Obama and others for “harrassment and intimidation” since his tell-all video was released on YouTube.

On January 23, 2008, Sinclair was interviewed on the Jeff Rense Radio Show further defending the trutfulness and authenticity of his allegations. Sinclair claims he didn’t come forward for the money or the media attention and remains in constant fear for his safety.

Now, I ask, why hasn’t the mainstream media reported on this damaging allegation of homosexual sex and drug use? It doesn’t seem like they’d extend the same “benefit of the doubt” if a Republican or conservative, especially a devout Christian, had been accused of the same illicit behavior. Is the mainstream media afraid of Obama and his supporters, too? I doubt Obama has the same team working for him that rubbed-out rappers Tupac and Biggie Smalls, but someone seems to be scaring them into remaining silent.

Related News:
Champion of Gay Porn Stumps for Hillary
BREAKING NEWS: KKK Does Not Endorse Obama
Obama Employed Farrakhan Followers, Still Has Ties to Radical Islam
Obama Wants to Use “Bully Pulpit” to Advance Homosexual Agenda
Obama “Proud” of Militant Muslim Brother
Salvation Army to Reap Rewards of Obama’s Alleged Man-whore
MEDIA COVER-UP: Man Claims He Had Sex, Used Drugs with Obama
Obama’s Global Anti-poverty Bill Could Hit U.S. Taxpayers
O.J. Endorses Hillary Over Obama
Obama Assassination Would Cause Riots Across U.S.
Media “Pimping” Obama Assassination Idea to Radicals
Rap Music Deemed Equally Inspiring as Obama

What Has Obama Done for You? - Alot! Just keep on clicking each good deed and you’ll see why he really, really deserves to be P.O.T.U.S.

Communicate Better with Your Bitch - Absolutely amazing. This website just might save your relationship.

Lindsay Lohan - Here’s what the media’s buzzing about. These links actually work.

Substance Abuse Test - Take a stab at this test to see if you or someone you love is prone to abusing drugs or becoming an alcoholic. Chances are, you’ll fail.

90 Day Jane Is a Fraud! - Turns out, it was a a joke. And, we’re supposed to be surprised …

The Menstruation Blues - Lovely little jingle from a handsome Aussie womyn.

“Ground Control to Major Jesus” - There’s apparently one thing Tom Cruise hasn’t told us about Scientology … Jesus is the commander of the spaceship.

Rapper Q-Tip of Tribe Called Quest, which I’ll admit sounded pretty hot back in the day, believes Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.) has the power to “change” America for the better, just like rap music has done for ending poverty, reducing drug use and raising the self-esteem of those caught up in the ghetto culture. Sure, I’ll entertain the notion that Sen. Obama might have the power to influence positive change if elected, but taking a page from the rap industry playbook to generate succesful results is downright ignorant.

“Hip-hop culture was the product of the impoverished who found strength and solace in this music phenomenon. It is a transformational art form born of neighborhoods where crime and drugs were on the rise and self-esteem was sinking. The education system was failing, and the odds were against us,” states Q-Tip in his endorsement of Obama. “But as a people, we persevered. I know about having true substance, new ideas and a desire for fundamental change like Senator Obama … I am endorsing Barack Obama because I feel that we can benefit greatly from a leader that offers sound judgment and experience rooted in the lives of real people.” 

Wow! I had no idea rap music had achieved such great success in transforming the lives of so many, aside from making millionaires out of music industry moguls and a select few rappers who manage to remain on the scene after their first albums are released. And, now, Q-Tip would have us believe that a President Obama will offer the same “sound judgement” as enlisted by the rap industry to ”change” America for the better? Surely, Sen. Obama is smart enough to realize that rap music is anything but a vehicle for promoting positive change … and, you’re kidding yourself if you truly believe any of Q-Tip’s unfounded rant that attempts to equate the so-called positive of influence of rap music with the power of Sen. Obama to influence positive change across our diverse nation.

As far as rap music’s positive effects on raising the self-esteem of listeners and helping them to persevere when faced with tough challenges, no matter where they come from, let’s consider the fact that we still see and hear:

1. Rappers dropping lyrics about women being “bitches,” “sluts,” “whores,” etc.
2. By his own admission, rapper Ludacris, while addressing college students about safe sex and condom use with Sen. Obama in 2006, said, “I talk a lot about sex in my music, but you don’t ever hear me talk about condoms.”
3. The prolific use of the “N-word,” but we are told to believe that’s just a term of affection among blacks, though not a single person who is not black should ever let it slip from his lips without the expectation of a physical beat down, getting fired from your job or expelled from school, a visit from the Reverends Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton … or all of the above.
4. Ghetto life being glamorized in rap videos as we watch gangstas roll down the streets of neighborhoods most sensible people know better than to drive on during the daytime even with a police escort.
5. Album titles such as Nas’ latest release, “Nigger,” being met with initial media controversy, then peddled by merchants for profit with not so much as a whisper from anyone further condemning the album’s release on shelves within clear view of kids who will be the next generation to embrace the “N-word.”
6. Drinking Cristal at the club or sipping 40s on the front porch with your homeboys is the thing to do if you want to be a true playa’.
7. Toting a gun is nothing but a sensible means of protecting yourself and the ones you love, because you never know who might want to bust a cap in your ass.
8. Smiling is an absolute no-no, unless you’re showing off your golden or platinum “grill” because you always need to look tough and intimidating, never friendly and thereby risk giving the impression that you’re weak.
9. Smacking your bitch is just a means of spousal discipline to ensure your mutually loving and respectful relationship endures through troubled times.
10. Prison must be portrayed as a right of passage in to adulthood, and the more times you’re locked up, the harder you get, which is a good thing.
11. It’s not a party unless there are dozens of scantily clad women and you’re the only male.
12. Driving your parents old car just isn’t cool because by the the time you reach the ripe old age of 19, it’s logical that you should be able to afford a pimped-out Cadillac Escalade through your “entrepeneurial” endeavors, like freelance pharmaceutical sales on street corners. Working as a waiter or store clerk will get you nowhere quickly, and that’s just not gonna fly if you want to get with the honeys.
13. Smoking a fat joint chock full of the “chronic” is just a means of relaxation and harmless fun.
14. Getting more tattoos than an Eagle Scout has merit badges is a true sign of your accomplishments.
15. Mimicking every cool new phrase or terminology crafted by Snoop Dogg, like “fo-shizzle,” will come in handy on the SAT verbal section, and possibly during interviews with potential employers who think their companies need to embrace diversity by hiring someone who wears his pants hanging off his ass, has a chain around his neck with a oversized medallion that mesmerizes anyone who gazes at the spinning replica of a tire rim, and has an amazing global business sense because of the numerous watches dangling on both of his wrists (each one telling time in a different global time zones so he knows when the opening bells ring on the stock markets in New York, London and Frankfurt, of course).  

I’m sure I forgot something, but the rap industry is so inventive, a new trend will certainly arise in the near future that glamorizes every parent’s worst nightmare, or manages to put money in the pockets of people exploiting the vulnerability of America’s youth by making them believe they can have it all if they try really hard to find shortcuts on the, more often than not, long and winding road to success.

So, Q-Tip, if electing Obama will create positive “change” just like rap music has done for so many young, impoverished and vulnerable young Americans struggling to improve their lives, I’m dying to hear about how the rest of hard-working, goal-oriented Americans will fare under a President Obama, because you’re pretty much telling them that they should quit their days jobs and not give a shit about pursuing the American Dream the old fashioned way — by working hard and earning it, all while having a strong sense of respect for others and self.

Whether you realize it or not, Q-Tip, you just described how to achieve the American Nightmare, and that’s probably not the endorsement that Sen. Obama was hoping to receive or the inspirational message to voters that he’d like to promote. Bling-bling! It’s time to wake-up to reality.

Related News:
BREAKING NEWS: KKK Does Not Endorse Obama
Obama Employed Farrakhan Followers, Still Has Ties to Radical Islam
Obama Wants to Use “Bully Pulpit” to Advance Homosexual Agenda
Obama “Proud” of Militant Muslim Brother
Salvation Army to Reap Rewards of Obama’s Alleged Man-whore
Obama’s Global Anti-poverty Bill Could Cost U.S. Taxpayers Billions
MEDIA COVER-UP: Man Claims He Had Sex, Used Drugs with Obama
O.J. Endorses Hillary Over Obama
Obama Assassination Would Cause Riots Across U.S.
Media “Pimping” Obama Assassination Idea to Radicals