Reality Bytes and Pieces

Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-N.Y.) enlisted the help of a pioneer in the same-sex marriage crusade to round-up homosexual voters in Houston, Texas prior to Tuesday’s critical primary. The city’s two major homosexual “rights” groups are reportedly split between Clinton and Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.), and it seems that Hillary is appealing to undecided homosexual voters with a soft spot for hardcore gay porn.

San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom, a leading voice in the nation’s same-sex marriage movement, spoke to homosexual voters at a “predominantly” gay bar in Houston on Sunday, bashing Obama on Hillary’s behalf for not rising to the defense of same-sex marriage in the Senate.

For those unfamiliar with the gay-friendly Mayor Newsom, he is also, apparently, a staunch supporter hardcore gay pornography, as evidenced by a Feb. 23, 2007 mayoral proclamation honoring his city’s leading gay porn producer, Colt Studio (NSFW).

According to the San Francisco Chronicle’s March 3, 2007 report detailing Newsom’s unusual proclamation, “Newsom’s office declared Feb. 23 to be Colt Studio Day, honoring the 40th anniversary of a San Francisco movie company whose Web site invites visitors to ‘come inside to experience the hottest man-on-man action.’”  

Newsom claimed that the proclamation honoring Colt Studio was issued without his prior knowledge, however, “The official document, bearing Newsom’s name, was presented by a representative of the Mayor’s Office of Neighborhood Services to the company during its anniversary party,” the Chronicle reported.

After the controversial proclamation was issued, the Chronicle noted that Newsom spokesman Nathan Ballard “stopped short of saying the administration had made a mistake in honoring Colt Studio.”

So, if you’re gay and want to elect a candidate who supports hardcore gay porn, Hillary sounds like she’s onboard and hungry for your vote.

You can find the entire address of Obama’s “Open Letter to Gay Americans” on Andrew Sullivan’s blog on the Atlantic.com. It is interesting to note that Obama’s own website makes no mention of this letter on its “Obama Blog” or “Obama News” sections that always seem to be updated as quickly as Obama makes a peep or poop. For such an “open” letter, I’m just wondering why the Obama ‘08 website seems to remain “in the closet” on this letter.

As Sullivan appropriately notes, the “money quote” from Obama’s letter reads:

“As your President, I will use the bully pulpit to urge states to treat same-sex couples with full equality in their family and adoption laws. I personally believe that civil unions represent the best way to secure that equal treatment. But I also believe that the federal government should not stand in the way of states that want to decide on their own how best to pursue equality for gay and lesbian couples — whether that means a domestic partnership, a civil union, or a civil marriage.”

As if there aren’t enough “bullies” already pushing the homosexual agenda without enlisting the democratic process of allowing American voters to decide on homosexual issues at the polls while using activist judges to enact laws that go against the will of the people, now, Obama is promising to use the “bully pulpit” to fight for “change” that a minority demands and a majority rejects.

You can’t “bully” people into embracing “change,” Obama. You need to convince them why it’s the right thing to do and for the right reasons — then, let the American voters decide if they agree with your argument or reject it. Otherwise, you’ll just be another bully dictator abusing his power in elected office by enforcing his will on the people.

Related News:
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Salvation Army to Reap Rewards of Obama’s Alleged Man-whore
Obama’s Global Anti-poverty Bill Could Cost U.S. Taxpayers Billions
MEDIA COVER-UP: Man Claims He Had Sex, Used Drugs with Obama
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Health Insurers Want to Use Facebook & Myspace Against You - “Litigation over an insurer’s refusal to pay health benefits for anorexia or bulimia may turn on what is revealed from the alleged sufferers’ e-mails and postings on the social networking sites MySpace and Facebook. The plaintiffs are suing in federal court in Newark, N.J., on behalf of their minor children, who have been denied benefits by Horizon Blue Cross Blue Shield of New Jersey. Horizon claims that the children’s online writings, as well as journal and diary entries, could shed light on the causes of the disorders, which determines the insurer’s responsibility for payment. New Jersey law requires coverage of mental illness only if it is biologically based…”

Bozos sing food orders at drive-thrus - It’s an interesting concept, but I’m guessing there’s a good chance the drive-thru clerk will take your license plate and report you to the police for drunk driving.

Conservative Christians to Worship at Former Gay Night Club - “An iconic Midtown venue that used to be filled with shirtless gay men partying away weekends has become a conservative Christian church that refuses to rent its facility for events that feature same-sex dancing…”

All-gay summer camp for adults - “Since 1997, ‘Camp’ Camp has offered a fun and distinctive vacation for the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community. Camp is structured just like the sleep-away summer camp that you remember from when you were young(er)…” WTF? Maybe if I was molested by my same-sex camp counselor and enjoyed it. Does anyone recall a summer camp experience from their youth that included homosexual bonding and themes?

Need another wife? - “Welcome to SisterWives.Net. The new site for those who are interested in the concept of Polygamy…”

Obese Pets on the Rise - “According to a recent study published in the Journal of Veterinary Internal Medicine, the prevalence of obesity in dogs is between 22 and 40 percent. The reasons and the remedies for the problem seem to mirror each other across species…” Could it be that Fido is lazy and sits in front of his computer all day long playing World of Warcraft and eating cupcakes that his mommy bakes for him?

Canine Sport Fighting for Fun and Profit - “With our system, your dog only needs to win a few fights per year to carry his own weight in the house and put a little cash in your pocket even after vet bills. It’s a win/win situation for everyone…”

Don’t believe the media hype about birth defects - “This must be the season to scare parents-to-be about birth defects. Two major reports offering reassuring news about birth defects in newborns and cancer mortalities in children have been issued by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The public would never know it, though, as the media has been busily reporting the opposite of the actual data…”

Mormons Used to Smoke Alot of Dope - Back in 1910, Mormons used to travel to Mexico for the “sticky-icky” and bring it back to smoke in Utah. Who said these people aren’t any fun?

“Former” Porn Star Releases Comic Book - “From the mind of Jenna Jameson, NY Times Bestselling author and iconic entertainer and written by Christina Z (WITCHBLADE) comes a dark tale of one woman’s struggle with forces beyond ordinary perception…”

Is Romney Pushing Harvard to Plug Mormonism? - Maybe it’s just a coincidence that Harvard is located in Massachusetts and Romney is the state’s former Governor. Or, maybe Romney’s taking a page from Tom Cruise and using his fame and influence to convert young, impressionable students to his “cult.”

Raelian “Alien” Cult to Open World’s First “Pleasure Hospital” - If your clitoris has been removed by fellow tribal members, fear not, the Raelians want to reconstruct your pleasure palace.

Evangelicals Find Value in Tom Cruise’s Scientology Recruitment Strategy - “Celebrities’ religious beliefs, no matter how strange or convoluted, can be a springboard for spiritual conversations about the true message of God’s grace and forgiveness as revealed in the Bible. Step up and take the opportunity to turn the conversation toward Jesus and share what He’s done in your life…”

Church Promotes “30-Day Sex Challenge” - “People are not having enough sex. An epidemic of breakups prove the needs that lead to a great sex life are being overlooked. Dirty dishes, frumpy clothes, and a lack of authentic connections are killing the romance. A great sex life is a challenge and takes focus, determination, and planning. Some say it’s an unrealistic goal, but we disagree. We believe you can have a great sex life, in fact we believe God wants you to have a great sex life…” Still not a believer? Watch the promotional video.

British Trannies Sue Pizza Hut - “Michael Kemp, 48, who was dressed in women’s clothes including a miniskirt told the Daily Mail: ‘A male member of staff approached us with a big smirk on his face and, when we asked for a table, he told us that the restaurant had run out of pizzas and told us to try somewhere else…”

Obama’s Website Translated into Ebonics - I clicked the “dialectize” button, but I still don’t know what the heck he’s talking about when he says we need to embrace “CHANGE.”

Cynthia McKinney Is the Only 100% Black Presidential Candidate - Ain’t no cream in this coffee.

Speaking of Cynthia McKinney - She’s one “hot ghetto mess.”

KKK Recruitment Message - “We are the Ku Klux Klan of the 21^st century. Today the KKK still stands for the unity of all white Christians.  We don’t hate other people or other races…” Oh, sure. You guys are just misunderstood. If people only got a chance to know the guys under the hoods… uh-huh.

Gene Simmons Sex Tape - First “Screech,” now this nasty old geezer … What’s next, Urkell? I haven’t watched it, but it’s here if you want it.

Kool-Aid Kicks - Reebok’s cure for stinky feet just might smell better than it tastes when mixed with human foot sweat.

Solar-powered Sex Toys - What happens when you stick ’em where the sun don’t shine?

It always amazes me how easy the televangelists and mega-church pastors make it sound to achieve eternal salvation by opening up your wallet and dialing a toll-free number on your television screen.

Just watch the following message from the Paula White Ministries, which one must assume came directly from God above, and you’ll scratch your head in disbelief and amazement as Ms. White encourages viewers to empty their pockets in exchange for her empty promise that God will reward suckers (I mean, “believers”) with “prosperity” and “success” if they act right now. 

According to the sexy Ms. White, “God claims the First Fruits of anything! It rightfully belongs to Him in His divine order, from the first day of the week (Sabbath) to the first of our harvest - be it the wages for the first hour, the first day, the first week or first month.”

For those of you unfamiliar with the term “first fruits,” she’s talking about your first few paychecks of the new year, and not a batch of tomatoes in your garden come the first harvest — because we all know that God can use the money and never goes hungry.

But wait, there’s more! If you act blindly now, Paula White Ministries will throw in Ms. White’s new book and her latest Jesus Jams CD. That’s not all folks. It seems that Ms. White believes she also has the power to “save souls” and “heal the sick.” Yep, when you send in your hard earned pay to Ms. White, you also qualify to receive a lifetime supply of free miracles.

Sound to good to be true? How, you ask, could a normal human being be so powerful and in touch with God to make such lofty promises? Is she a prophet or an angel?

According to Ms. White’s bio on her website, “[A]t the age of five Paula’s little world was thrown into a tailspin when her father committed suicide. The sudden loss of her father affected her entire family. While various members of the household tried to cope with the grief and loss, Paula’s cries for love were muffled by sexual and physical abuse from the ages of 6 to 13. At the age of eighteen, Paula was introduced to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Shortly after Paula surrendered her life to the Lord, she received a divine visitation in which God gave her a vision of multitudes of millions of people as far as her eyes could see. In the vision, every time she opened her mouth and began to declare the Word of the Lord, there was a visible manifestation of the power of God – souls were saved, the sick were healed, and the broken were restored. Conversely, when she was silent, people began to fall into utter darkness. In her finite mind she could not adequately quantify or enumerate the sea of humanity that she saw…but, since that time, Paula has kept the goal of 10 million souls to remind her of the awesome responsibility — yet achievable mission — of winning multiple souls for Christ.”

Time is running out. You must act now if you want to struggle with your monthly bills, feed Ms. White’s ego and encourage her delusions of grandeur, receive her free book and Jesus Jams CD, and qualify for a lifetime of miracles performed on your behalf. Accept no imitations! Operators are standing by. Visa and Mastercard accepted. 

Fat Mom, Dead Kid - This is what happens when you put booze, an obese mom and a two-year-old boy in a room together. Talk about making your kids pancakes…

Extinction by Obesity Spares Taxpayers - Study claims, “Although effective obesity prevention leads to a decrease in costs of obesity-related diseases, this decrease is offset by cost increases due to diseases unrelated to obesity in life-years gained. Obesity prevention may be an important and cost-effective way of improving public health, but it is not a cure for increasing health expenditures.” Soon, there’ll be PETA campaigns to “Save the Fatted Redneck.”

“God, you smell sexy!” - “Virtue was conceived out of our desire to provide a perfume that would allow a person to be reminded of God and their Spiritual Self, by a simple whiff of it’s fragrant essence.”

Elderly Crooner Ensures His Chest Hair for Millions - “Tom Jones, 67, whose mop of luxurious curly brown hair has made him a hit with the ladies, has had his chest hair insured - for the princely sum of £3.5million!”

Go ahead! Burn that bridge! - If you’re looking for a simple and effective way of telling your current or soon-to-be-former boss what you really think about him or her, this just might get the message across loud and clear. 

White Castle Valentines Day - “Make a reservation at the Castle. Then make your move.” Yea, nothing quite tells the girl of your dreams how much you love and appreciate her like a dozen belly-bombers and a side of fries.

Little Pet Project - “Little Pet Project is a community of citizens who’s reasons for joining are diverse: they range from those who just want to see stunning beauties half naked, to dedicated animal welfare advocates. We welcome you all- it will take all of us to make a difference.”

Faith-based F#$k!ng - “Hookers for Jesus is a nondenominational, faith-based organization reaching out to men and women who are currently associated with or working as prostitutes, porn stars, pimps, and exotic dancers. Our vision includes promoting spiritual, emotional, and physical wellness in the lives of those who have been affected by sexual trauma and related forms of abuse in the adult entertainment industry.  Our desire is to work with community, state, and nationwide organizations to develop networking opportunities to assist these women to successfully transition out of the industry and experience new life in Christ.”

There’s no better way to satisfy your craving for something sweet and taste the goodness of God all in one bite than these tasty treats from “Scripture Candies.” 

According to the Christian confectioner’s website, ”We take the best tasting candies and wrap them in Scriptures so that they can be passed out to everyone. It’s a great way to spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ. A single piece of Scripture Candy is like that seed planted by the sower in the parable spoken by Jesus in Matthew 13; it has the potential of producing a tremendous harvest.” But wait, there’s more. If you act now, “[Y]ou can be one of the few workers Jesus was talking about by simply offering a piece of candy to everyone you meet, because they might be the next person the angels rejoice over in heaven for coming to know Jesus Christ as their Savior.”

 That sounds too good to be true, but if there’s a chewy nougat center and promise of eternal salvation, my mouth is watering.